Proper separation of Church and State. She’ll have a place for her horses and I’ll have a place for all the speakers I can build in the time remaining. Yeah, this thing is WIP and wont be done for a while yet.
But the monkey coffin living room speakers still stay. No reason to get rid of something that’s paid for already, especially when the house is still WIP. And like us men, it’s far easier and cheaper starting all over than to renovate.
But the monkey coffin living room speakers still stay. No reason to get rid of something that’s paid for already, especially when the house is still WIP. And like us men, it’s far easier and cheaper starting all over than to renovate.
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Don't know about that. Psychologists say both change, first when they fall in love, second when the initial lust phase of the relationship wears off (usually after a few years), third, then slowly both change with aging over a long period of time. IOW, biology fools people into falling in love by temporarily changing their brain chemistry. Eventually, the revert back to their normal selves. After that is the stage as to whether they can become lifelong best friends.
Nice barn. It's been a while since we have seen the progress, yes?
BTW, what exactly is that approaching the door in the third photo?
"Biology fools people into falling in love" Yes this is true. Biology doesn't have agency (only the appearance of agency sometimes) and its "goals" are to make you procreate, and raise the youngsters to be able to survive and do it again. Biology doesn't "care" about your angst and frustration. All it "cares" about is that you'll let the big brain let the little brain take control long enough to create progeny; like a male praying mantis that gets its head eaten while mating.
That’s the wife approaching the shop. She comes along any time I go out there to work. She wants out of the city so bad she can’t stand it. It crept in around us over 20 years.
Progress has sort of slowed down since I broke my heel a month and a half ago. That happened in the OLD overcrowded warehouse. I’ve got some framing in the shop that I was in the middle of that will wait till I’m back on my feet to continue. In the meantime the breezeway between the house and barn is now paved, the gravel driveway is complete, and they’ve spray foamed the whole inside of the house 4” thick. Man, is it acoustically dead in there right now. And tight. It will be sooooo easy to heat and cool with 4 more inches of fiberglass in there. I need to be able to work on it again, and the fence needs to go up (thats contracted out, just waiting on them - they know I have some time before it’s needed). Then we move out there and sell this place. Then that thread will get updated all the time.
It's a direct experience only in part, because I created and defended my physical and mental spaces exactly as I respected those not mine.
Furthermore, I'm a great observer of myself and not only.
[IMHO]
I also know that if you want to take (what you like) you must also give (what she likes).
What does she like?
She doesn't know it.
What she wants (unlike what you want) is not always the same thing, and it is almost always the exact opposite of what you do.
But it's no one's fault, it's the Nature.
Because you let her do that.
The same can also happen in all other types of personal and social relationships, not just marriage.
Please note that English is not my 1st language and I wrote many things that I later deleted.
However, your intriguing question inspired me to answer the following.
What I see happening first is that there are an infinite number of different situations and people and combinations of them (genetic and psychological and behavioral), but also a common basis.
Here we talk about wives, therefore about marriage, but it would be better to talk about cohabitation, because marriage in itself is not a bad thing, of course.
Talking about a "normal" relationship, that is, taking many things for granted that in reality are not so obvious (I don't want to list them, we all understand them) I believe that it's all in the expectations of both of you, and a missed expectation can kill a relationship and/or can make you suffer a lot.
I believe that three things are really important for a pleasant coexistence in addition to the "right" expectations: love, a "small and light" amount of "psychological" problems everyone has and an intelligence of couple.
I don't even mention love, because just talking about it would reduce it.
The "severity" of problems one has matters a lot, because expectations start from those.
An unfulfilled expectation generates suffering.
And whoever suffers will inevitably cause suffering.
Suffering aggravates any psychological issues, and a fatal loop is created.
[/IMHO]
Other question might be, does wife have a history of such things, going behind husband's back, making unilateral decisions, etc.? If so, there may be a long term problem. If it was only a one-time thing, maybe she just happened to feel very strongly about it. IOW maybe just an outlier event, as it were.